Upgrade?

[Chris Gibbs]

Quite an old one this, still made me chuckle :D

Upgrade problems? Maybe We Can Help?

A few months ago, I upgraded from Drinking Mates 4.2 to Girlfriend 1.0

Which I had been told for years wouldn't give me any trouble. However,

There are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only

Solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several

Other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and

Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend 1.0 proved no better. I

Tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left

A virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several

Weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run the new Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0

At the same time, only to discover that when these two systems

Detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I

Eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product

Soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. Whilst Wife 1.0 tends to

Use up all my available resources, it does at least come bundled with

FreeSexPlus and Clean House 2008. Shortly after this upgrade however, I

Found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and extremely costly to

Run.

Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and

Could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had

Forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer

And E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and

Whinge 2. Worse still, these latter products have no Help files, and I

Have to try and guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly

Requiring Adobe ShoeShop, HandBag Searcher and Hairstyle Express, all

Of which need to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0

Attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0

Also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't

Be turned off.

I've recently been tempted to install Mistress 2009, but there could

Be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife

1.0 detects Mistress 2009; it tends to delete all of your money before

Uninstalling itself.

Cheers

Chris :)

[Bonzo]

Nice one Chris :D .........not seen that one before.

I am still running Wife 1 beta version :eek: :D :D

[fabbyglass]

Women.....!!! Can't live with them and it's illegal to shoot them..:p

[Bonzo]

A man drinks a large glass of whiskey every night before bed.

After years of this, the wife wants him to quit;

she gets two large glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings in two worms.

She says “I want you to see this.” She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.

She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, “what do you have to say about this experiment?”

He responds by saying: “If I drink whiskey, I won’t get worms!”

[flyerncle]

Only if you get caught Mark:rolleyes:

[shadowcaster]

Another old one but it still raises a chuckle

Love Dress

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me wearing this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"