First off the best way for your wheels is to get them bead blasted as this is less harsh and will give a much smoother finish,the grit will really make the alloy ones very open and porous.
You can use the same paint for both sets(personally i prefer 2 pac as it goes on reasonably thick) but the alloy ones are really best sprayed with an etch primer first to give a good surface for the paint to 'stick' to, the steels just undercoat and spray.(buy the best paint you can afford to but mostly its down to preparation).
Personally i wouldnt bother masking the holes up and you will get a bit of overspray over the edge where your tyres sit,just make sure you spray the full lip to cover right up to the beaded edge of where your tyre will sit.
With regard to the odd wheels front and rear why not find some alloys you like and buy 2 to fit the ford offset and 2 for the bmw offset then they all match(i know this isnt the real locost way but its an option).
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