shadowcaster
19th August 2009, 06:58 PM
Murphy's law's for D.I.Y. mechanics
Parts will be damaged in direct proportion to there value
A 1000 euro E.C.U. Will protect a 20 cent fuse by blowing first
If you mess with a thing long enough it will break Don't force it get a bigger hammer
inside every small problem is a big one struggling to get out
An object will always fall so as to do the most damage
After things have gone from bad to worse the cycle will repeat itself
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism
Any product cut to length will be too short
Murphy's law's on driving
If you tell the boss you are late because of a flat tyre next morning you will have one
You can observe alot just by watching
Its easier to get forgiveness than permission
If something small cant go wrong something big will
Help a man in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again
The chief cause of problems is solutions
If you can keep your head when all around you are loosing there's maybe you don't understand the problem
Man will occasionally stumble on the truth but will usually pick himself up and continue on
Murphy's number 1 law
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong
Lucas electrics A.K.A The prince of darkness
Not many people know that Land Rovers attempted to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way
to get it to leak oil!
A Land Rover does notīt leak oil, it marks itīs territory.
Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.
Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch
from another at night? They all look the same. " - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"
The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper. Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the
countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an occasional ice cold shower...
Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only
product they offered which did not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone . Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the
Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken
and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your protect your
unworthy servant.."
1) A Land Rover doesn't leak oil, it just marks it's territory.
2) When putting a Land Rover portrait against the wall, remember to put some old newspapers on the floor to catch the
oil leaks.
3) Why is a Land Rovers rear windows heated? So your hands are warm when you push them.
4) Why did they use Land Rovers for the Camel trophy? To make things as difficult as possible for the contestants.
5) With a Land Rover you can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your
handbrake fails.
6) How do you get oil into a Land Rover? Throw the oils over the engine and it will leak in.
7) What does the Titanic and a Land Rover have in common? It has the same turning circle and is just as waterproof
Parts will be damaged in direct proportion to there value
A 1000 euro E.C.U. Will protect a 20 cent fuse by blowing first
If you mess with a thing long enough it will break Don't force it get a bigger hammer
inside every small problem is a big one struggling to get out
An object will always fall so as to do the most damage
After things have gone from bad to worse the cycle will repeat itself
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism
Any product cut to length will be too short
Murphy's law's on driving
If you tell the boss you are late because of a flat tyre next morning you will have one
You can observe alot just by watching
Its easier to get forgiveness than permission
If something small cant go wrong something big will
Help a man in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again
The chief cause of problems is solutions
If you can keep your head when all around you are loosing there's maybe you don't understand the problem
Man will occasionally stumble on the truth but will usually pick himself up and continue on
Murphy's number 1 law
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong
Lucas electrics A.K.A The prince of darkness
Not many people know that Land Rovers attempted to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way
to get it to leak oil!
A Land Rover does notīt leak oil, it marks itīs territory.
Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil? The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.
Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch
from another at night? They all look the same. " - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"
The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper. Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the
countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an occasional ice cold shower...
Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only
product they offered which did not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone . Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the
Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken
and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your protect your
unworthy servant.."
1) A Land Rover doesn't leak oil, it just marks it's territory.
2) When putting a Land Rover portrait against the wall, remember to put some old newspapers on the floor to catch the
oil leaks.
3) Why is a Land Rovers rear windows heated? So your hands are warm when you push them.
4) Why did they use Land Rovers for the Camel trophy? To make things as difficult as possible for the contestants.
5) With a Land Rover you can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your
handbrake fails.
6) How do you get oil into a Land Rover? Throw the oils over the engine and it will leak in.
7) What does the Titanic and a Land Rover have in common? It has the same turning circle and is just as waterproof