shadowcaster
23rd August 2009, 10:07 AM
Employee Reviews
The following are excerpts from federal employee performance evaluations.
* "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
* "His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."
* "This associate is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
* "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
* "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change feet."
* "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
* "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
* "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
* "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better we'll be."
* "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
* "This employee should not be allowed to breed."
* "This man has the whole six pack but is missing the plastic thingy that holds them all together."
* "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
* "He doesn't have ulcers, but he is a carrier."
* "He's been working with glue too much."
* "He would argue with a signpost."
* "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
* "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
* "Is apparently very careful with equipment, as his tools show very little signs of wear."
The following are excerpts from federal employee performance evaluations.
* "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
* "His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."
* "This associate is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
* "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
* "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change feet."
* "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
* "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
* "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
* "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better we'll be."
* "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
* "This employee should not be allowed to breed."
* "This man has the whole six pack but is missing the plastic thingy that holds them all together."
* "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
* "He doesn't have ulcers, but he is a carrier."
* "He's been working with glue too much."
* "He would argue with a signpost."
* "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
* "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
* "Is apparently very careful with equipment, as his tools show very little signs of wear."