I'm dumbfounded

[Chris Gibbs]

I've just had the most bizzare incident of my life.

I've been shopping (that's not it by the way) I was parked outside the local shops, the road is very busy and cars are parked either side with just enough width for one car in each direction.

I came out of the chemists (mind your own business) and pressed the "unlock" button on my key fob, the indicators flash and at the same time on the other side of the road an old duffer in a Micra runs into the corner of a Transit pick up.

Everyone rushes over to make sure him and mrs Duffer are ok. No injuries, little bit shaken up but ok, the noddy car has a broken headlamp and a creased wing and bonnet. After giving my details to the Transit driver as a witness for his insurance I wander back to my own car.

Mrs Duffer is sitting on my bonnet. "Bit of a cheek" I thought but fair do's she's had a bit of a shock, never mind.

So I walked up and said "Can I find you somewhere else to sit? I'm off now"

She shouts "Oh no you're not!!!"

This bewilldered me for a moment as you can imagine.

"Why not?" I asked.

"You're going nowhere until the police arrive!"

Again this puzzled me slightly, so I explained that I had given my details to the pick up driver and that my story wouldn't really help her husband as he'd basically hit a parked vehicle.

She says "it's not that you caused the accident"

Say WHAT?

"You pulled out and forced us to swerve"

WHAT?

"We had to swerve to miss you"

Now, fortunately there were four other witnesses and they had seen what really happened.

Evidently Mr Duffer had seen my indicator flash and reacted by driving into a parked car.

I was being accused of causing an accident while I was standing in a shop doorway!!!!

To be fair the police were very good about it - once they'd finished laughing.

I've been thinking since - what would have happened if it had have been my word against theirs?

From the police's point of view I could have easily done what they said and then parked and got out.

Quite worrying really.

Cheers

Chris :)

[Blade]

So how much did you have to pay the other witnesses :D :D :D

[VladD]

Sounds like a good argument for euthanasia. I also hope she apologised once she found out the truth.

[mark]

Some people are crazy :eek: :D

Last year a my dad was parking up at tescos and as he was pulling into the space a woman walked straight into the side of his car near the back wheel, she was looking at her husband who was putting the trolley back behind her, so she was walking forwards but looking backwards as you do?!

She apologised to my dad said it was her fault and off they went.

Next thing the police and her insurance company rang my dad saying he was recklessly driving and that he had ran over her foot :eek:

Im assuming she took down his reg no. (after she admitted it was her fault!)

Nothing came of it as my mother was in the car to back up his story, and the fact that a 1500kg saloon car cant run over your foot without damaging it :D

[Chris Gibbs]

Update:

The police have just been round to say that there's CCTV that shows that I wasn't in my car, which seems to suggest that they took the silly old goat at least partially seriously, doesn't it?

I'm glad it wasn't my word against theirs - I could have been looking at an insurance claim even though I wasn't in the car!!!!

Cheers

Chris :)

[Bonzo]

That is one of the most bizzare things I have ever read :eek:

Gave me a darn good laugh :D :D

Your dead right though, this thing could have caused you a whole heap of hassle !!?? :rolleyes:

[HandyAndy]

trust it to happen to you Chris :D :D
how strange can it get???? made me laugh tho:p

andy

[londonsean69]

and the fact that a 1500kg saloon car cant run over your foot without damaging it :D

Yes it can - tyres deform.

How do I know, at 11 years old, coming back from fishing off the bus, steeped off said bus and onto a service road - car went straight over my foot.

No damage, but a lot of tears:D

[spud69]

Yes it can - tyres deform.

How do I know, at 11 years old, coming back from fishing off the bus, steeped off said bus and onto a service road - car went straight over my foot.

No damage, but a lot of tears:D

I'm sure we have all ran over our own feet while pulling the roadster out of the garage with one hand on the steering wheel and one pulling on roll bar. Not 1500kg but it hurts but nothing too bad just a bit of f ' ing.

You cant believe the incompetency of some drivers. Bet you didn't even get an apology off the accusers....:o

[dogwood]

Brill story Chris....
Still smiling at that one..:D

Have to pass on my "Old Duffer" story.
Way back when. I was on a bike helmet demo riding into London
along the A2, there was about 300 other bikes with us.

When Mr and Mrs Duffer drove past, cutting off the leads bike.
He was left sprawling across the road.
The car didn't stop, so me and a couple of mates rode after them.
Finaly catching up and pulled them over.
When we questioned the driver as to why he didnt stop after hitting the bike
he said "what bike, I didn't see any bike"
When the police finaly arrived and took his statement, he insisted he hadn't seen any bikes.......:eek:


David

[gingea1pom]

I was on my bike and pulled up alongside an ‘old duffer’. He winds his window down and says “your light is on”,

“I know” says I.

“Why” comes his reply.

“So you can see me” I exclaim.

(And this is the bit that left me dumb founded.)

He says “But I don’t want to see you”

The lights changed and I was left stationary at the lights!:(

[Balidey]

My mate (this is true, not one of those 'my mate' stories) was on his bike, riding through Bourne town centre late one evening. Pulled up at traffic lights. A copper (who must be related to the Duffers) pulled up alongside my mate and set 'Put your lights on mate, its dark' to which my mate said 'I can't, they're on a dynamo'. Copper: Yeah, ok, well still, put your lights on', Mate: 'No, I can't, its a dynamo, the basic principle is that they only come on when I am moving'. Copper: 'Now don't give me any of your lip Sonny'. At this point a few of my mates mates had appeared and proceeded to laugh at the copper. Then he said, ok be on your way; and away my mate pedalled,with his lights on :D

[flyerncle]

Beware of vehicles flashing headlights at you, some have automatic lights that come on when the light fades and if you drive under a tunnel guess what happens,the lights come on.Sitting waiting to turn right at a junction just far enough away from a railway bridge in the center of Newcastle car comes through tunnel, lights come on, thought nice guy and went to turn only to be honked at and given the digit.
Not all drivers are considerate!:rolleyes:

Glad plod saw sense Chris.:D

[londonsean69]

Beware of vehicles flashing headlights at you, some have automatic lights that come on when the light fades and if you drive under a tunnel guess what happens,the lights come on.Sitting waiting to turn right at a junction just far enough away from a railway bridge in the center of Newcastle car comes through tunnel, lights come on, thought nice guy and went to turn only to be honked at and given the digit.
Not all drivers are considerate!:rolleyes:

I remember this from years ago on top gear, although the law may have changed.

A car flashing it's headlights means 'I am here'

If you see that, and pull out in front of them leading to an accident, then, technically, it is your fault

Found it - it is prob in highway code somewhere, I 'believe' this is an excerpt from it...

Flashing Headlights
In the UK some motorists may use a flash of headlights to give meaning to a signal. But according to the law of the land and the Highway Code you should only flash your headlights as a signal to let other road users know that you are there. You should not flash your headlights for any other meaning – for example to intimidate other road users into letting you get past. You should never assume that a flash of headlights is a signal to let you proceed, you must use your experience and judgement before you move on.

[davidimurray]

Update:

The police have just been round to say that there's CCTV that shows that I wasn't in my car, which seems to suggest that they took the silly old goat at least partially seriously, doesn't it?..........


So which generic police TV show is this one going to appear on :p

[flyerncle]

I should have explained a little more,I took the fact that the lights came on as he entered the tunnel of the bridge to be that he flashed me to turn right, he was blissfully unaware to the fact that his lights were automatically turned on as he went into darkness. It was a moment where I was doing three things at once looking in four directions and only haveing two brain cells functioning went for it and turned.
Toot toot and the finger.....:D

[chriseyj]

A head teacher at a school I work at told me yesterday that a teacher blipped their car in the school car park and another persons car unlocked (same make/model) she got in and realised this isn't my car.
Is that even possible?

[Chris Gibbs]

It used to be possible, I've done it myself, but most modern cars use a rolling code which changes with every operation.

Another amusing key fob incident happened to a friend of mine . Him and his wife were shopping in town, they'd finished but he needed to call somewhere so she went back to the car while he went.

When he returned to his car he saw his missus dancing around with key fob. She says "the battery's gone, I can't get in!!!"

He took the keys and opened the car with it's own key.

She "hadn't thought about that" :D :D

Cheers

Chris :)

[londonsean69]

Friend of mine in Lanzarote owns a couple of hotels, and his right hand man (who does all the Spanish bits) had a Merc SL55, with an all singing all dancing alarm system.

They were going to a meeting and got stuck in proper heavy traffic, so Joe (the spanish guy) told Terry (English) he would run on ahead, and Terry can drive there.

Joe hops out and pegs it down the road. About 30 seconds later the Merc has locked itself, shut the engine off and every light is flashing, all with the alarm going off. - It had one of those cards that has to be within a certain distance, helps prevent car-jacking etc.

Poor old Terry is sat in this motor, blocking all the traffic, and trying to get the coppers to understand they do not need to smash the windows in and arrest him - all in Spanglish:D

Sean

[flyerncle]

If you ever lose your key and have one at home you can use a mobile to unlock the car by getting someone to press the button whilst on the phone but you cant drive it away unfortunatly.

[rapidtornado]

A duffer story from a number of years ago when I was doing my apprenticeship .....

An old guy I used to work with (nearing retirement) popped down to his local allotment after work, on the way back home unfortunately hit a cat as it ran out in front of him.

He stopped the car and got out to see if the cat was ok as the cat was led out on the pavement, noticed it was still moving slightly so thought I'll get the spade out of the boot and give it a quick smack to put the poor thing out of it's misery as it must be in pain....

Following morning got in the car to go to work, turned the key no response, popped the bonnet and found a dead cat wedged in the front of the engine!!!!

The poor cat led on the pavement was probably just sleeping and he went and clubbed the bu77er to death

When he told us I couldn't stop laughing for a week:D

Poor old cat but v.funny

[nicholas garn]

Very very funny, poor cat. Just told my wife and she is not amused and is now not talking to me (the cat hater):confused:. Not all bad then:)

[dogwood]

Just told my wife and she is not amused and is now not talking to me


:D :D :D She's probably not talking to you, not because of the story.
But because you were p****ing your self laughing whilst telling it.

How do I know????
Same here.:D

David

[car.mad]

not an 'old duffer' one but still slightly amusing

was on my way to college one monday last year somtime

queing in traffic at some lights and a peugeot 206 GTI thinggy with the local muppet driving tears up the outside of the standing traffic, runs the light and is hit in the back quarter by a brand new porche 4x4 thinggy :eek: which sends him into a spin into a side entrance to tescos..... head on into the front of a brand new proche 911 turbo :eek:

wrote all 3 cars off. police were behind the second one

BUSTED :cool: is the word