4 a laugh

[JHewitt]

It's not Friday yet, but this made me smile anyway!!!!

Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door
he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red
Massey Ferguson.

Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first
the right welly, followed by the left.

He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets
his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his
corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his check shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea
stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on
to a pile of hay.

"What the feck are you doing Mick" says Paddy.

"Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me, says an obviously
embarrassed Mick: "but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in
the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to
a tractor".

[Coozer]

Aaa, the old ones are the best eh?;) :) :)

Paddy's walking along the lane when he see's Mick in the hay field in a boat.

"What the feck ya doing" shouts Paddy

"Rowing me boat across this field!" shouts back Mick

Paddy shouts back "Ya stupid Mick, ya'll gets us Irish a bad name, if I could swim I would come over there and give ya a good hiding!"

[aerosam]

Paddy and Mick are working in a house laying floorboards. As Paddy picks up the nails, he throws away any that he picks up upside down.

Mick see him doing it and asks "what are ya doin that for?."

"They're the wrong way up!" Paddy replies.

"Yoooouuuu stuuuupid bastard!" Says Mick, "We could have used them for the ceiling!"

:D :D :D

[Davey]

While Tony Blair was PM he took up jogging in the mornings and on his regular route he often passed a prostitute on a street corner. As he passed her she would shout out £50 to which he would reply 50p. This went on for several weeks and it became a daily occurrence. One morning Cherie Blair decided to accompany Tony on his morning run. As they approached the corner where the hooker was Tony was getting more and more worried, how would he explain this strange relationship with a lady of loose morals. As they passed the hooker she said nothing and Tony thought he'd got away with it but as they got further away he heard her shout out "see what you get for 50p!".

D.

[Bonzo]

During last year's heavy snow, Paddy was driving his tractor down a country lane.
The snow was so deep, it was almost up to the tractors mudgards.

As Paddy went slowly down the road, he noticed Mick's head sticking up through the snow.

Paddy says " Hi dere Mick, would you like a ride on the tractor "

Mick says " No thank you Paddy, I am on my bike "

[Andy J]

2 Irishmen find a mirror in the road.

1st 1 picks it up & says - Feck me I know this face but I cant put a name 2 it.

2nd 1 picks it up & says - you daft B*stard its me!

Thought I would share this made me laugh my ass off