The Bad Puns Thread
 

Black tarmac and concrete were arguing in the bar one night,
"im harder than you" said black tarmac
"oh no your not!" said concrete, because i built the heathrow runways! nobody is harder than that!
"well i built the M1 so i must be the hardest!" said the black tarmac
Just then, red tarmac walked in, and the two friends went very quiet.
Noticing this, the barman went over and had a word with them.
"whats the matter with you two, youve suddenly gone very quiet?"
"well we dont get invloved with red tarmac 'coz he is a
cycle-path!"

Come on Guys do your worst:)

I walked into a bar last night .

It bleedin hurt, cos it was an iron one. :o

The late Tommy Cooper ;)

"There you go, four candles..."
"NO! you fool, fork handles, handles, for forks..."